In the deepest forest of florheit, where all the dangerous creatures lurk, there's this peaceful pond, with numberous lotus leaves on the water surface...
*Bom*
A frog came out of water surface and rested on the largest lotus leave...
*Bom* *Bom* *Bom* *Bom* *Bom* *Bom* *Bom*...
36 smaller frogs then appeared on each lotus leaf, listening attentively to what the elder frog has to say...
"Croak... We shall have the... Croak... Croaking Contest 2 days later... Croak... please prepare yourself and get ready for it... Croak... Whether you are among the most proudful croaker of the community... Croak... or the scumbags... Croak... shall be decided through this Croaking Contest... Croak..."
*Croak* *Croak* *Croak* *Croak* *Croak* *Croak*...
The smaller frogs started chatting excitedly among themselves...
" What to study ah? Croak.... For the Croaking Contest..."
"Hmmm... the usual things loh... Croak... aya leng leng one lah Croak..."
Some others just stayed quiet by the side, indifferent to their fellow frogs' conversations and seemed very confident, immediately went home after the speech starting to study how to make the loudest, clearest and most unique Croak ever...
*Croak* *Croak* *Croak* *Croak* *Croak* *Croak* ...
The pond bustled with the croaking sounds for 2 days and 2 nights...Finally the big day...
*Bom**Bom**Bom**Bom**Bom**Bom**Bom*...
All of them gathered again...
"Croak... finally... Croak... are you ready for the Croaking Contest? Croak..." The elder frog said
"Croak... Noooo...." chanted unanimously among the smaller frogs....
"Wah lau, have you study already or not Croak... I very scared leh... Croak... I never study at all Croak... I left like 5 chapters of the Croaking Handbook... Croak... Die liao lah... Croak... How lah... Croak... Oie, you study liao mah... Croak..." a frog named Tasini Haaz paniclly croaking about...
The exam had started..."First up, Shaanz Antiona, let me hear your loud croaks... Croak..."
"CROAK... CROAK..."
"Pretty good..."
"Then let me hear your clear croaks... Croak..."
"CRRRROAAAAKKK... CCCCCRRRROOOOOAAAKKK..."
"Well done..."
"Now let me hear your unique croaks... Croak..."
"Crikeycroak... Crikeycroak..."
"Hmmm... orginal but not skilled yet... ok you may go now..."
followed by Batty Juna, oilnice, Goon Santia and so on...Finally the exam ended...
"Waaah lau... Croak... How to do the 2nd question of the clear croak one... Croak... siiiianz... I think I minus 10 marks liao lah... Croak... Waaah...everytime my marks so low one Croak.... Only win some people by 2 or 3 points... Croak... waah, very sad now Croak..." Action Manggey cried out...
"Waaah, this paper damn difficult right Croak... What have you said ah for the 3rd question of unique croak? Croak... I said hoocroak... Croak... dunno can or not leh... Croak... So what you said, so what you said? Croak... Can or not… Croak... I damn scared lah… Croak...” Nist Ken added on…
One by one, the frogs went home with mixed feelings…
24 hrs later…
*Bom*
*Bom* *Bom* *Bom* *Bom* *Bom* *Bom* ...
"Croak... Class… your exam marks have been confirmed already…” the elder frog said…
"SO FAST…!!! Croak... Croak...Croak...” all the small frogs exclaimed…
"First, as usual, Sinyo Hap… 99 marks…”
“WAAAH…. Croak...”
“WTF? Croak... How she get so high one… Croak...”
“Siaoz lah… Croak... How to study till like that… Croak...”
“Shit lah… Croak... Sure die one… Croak... I forgot to add a R infront of my unique croak Croak... make it sound more complete… die liao lah… Croak... Should have also use more of my diaphragm during loud croak… Croak... Then can produce even louder sound… Croak... Waah, die liao lah… Croak…” Action Manggey claimed…
“We have some more distinctions coming up… Batty Juna, Jalwa Swat, Action Manggey, Joey Tehban and so on…”
“WAAH… SO TYCO SIAZ… Croak... I got distinction leh… Croak... Wth… Croak... ONLY 94 marks only… see lah… Croak... forgot to put a R infront of my unique croak… Croak... Or else I same marks as Sinyo Hap liaoz… How much you got ah Jasen Lang?” Action Manggey spoke quickly and grabbed Jasen’s script…
“WAAH… Croak... 88… VERY GOOD LIAO LEH… I only more than you 6 marks… Croak... this is very good liaoz!!! Why you so sad… I should be more sad lah… Croak... I got 94 only… 94 LEH… Croak... Put R infront then should be able get 96, then abit here, then there… Croak... then can 99 liao!!! Waah… Croak... Very sad lah…” He continued on…
However, he isn’t the only frog that did that… Several other small frogs did the same thing in they own way…
One who really doesn’t care do not speak about it
One who really didn’t prepare will be busy preparing and not talking
One who really does well, will be people that make the loudest noise
However, one who does insanely well, is oblivious to one’s surrounding…
Which frog would you like to be?
guailan cOw
Friday, December 08, 2006
KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered North America ?
CLASS: George!
TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLIE: Me!
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
forge
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables
TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered North America ?
CLASS: George!
TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLIE: Me!
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.
forge
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Since we're all so bored, I'll post some dirrrty/lame/funny stories. No truth at all.... except the last 1. Enjoy.
The Blind Date
The man who worked in the drugstore was getting tired of watching the nervous teenager wander around the store so he asked him if he could help him. The boy stammered a little and the druggist pulled some condoms from behind the counter and asked if that was what he was looking for. The teenagers said it was. The amused man told the boy not to worry, he was sure he'd do fine. He gave him some words of encouragement, wished him luck and told him with a wink, "I'm counting on you to become a regular customer." That evening as the young man approached the door of his date's house he was thankful for the "pep-talk" the man in the drugstore had given him, his confidence quickly disappeared when he rang the bell and his date's father, the druggist, answered the door.
The Costume Party
A man and his wife were supposed to go to a costume party together one halloween, but when the time came to go the woman told him to go on without her, she had a terrible headache. The man reluctantly did, and the suspicious wife decided to see just how faithful her man really was. She put on a different costume and went to the party. When she got there she saw her husband dancing with a young girl in a sexy costume, even more suspicious, she decided to really put him to the test. She danced with him and whispered they should sneak into a bedroom. She insisted they leave the masks on and had sex with him, then fuming, she ran home to wait for his return. When he got there she innocently asked if he'd had fun. He told her he hadn't, after a few minutes he and some guys had went across the street to play poker, he added "The guy who borrowed my costume said he had a hell of a time, though!"
Sex
A couple had oral sex, then sex and then started smoking on a U.K. train. The crew ignored complaints until they started smoking.
MaDeThEmOvE (HKI)
The Blind Date
The man who worked in the drugstore was getting tired of watching the nervous teenager wander around the store so he asked him if he could help him. The boy stammered a little and the druggist pulled some condoms from behind the counter and asked if that was what he was looking for. The teenagers said it was. The amused man told the boy not to worry, he was sure he'd do fine. He gave him some words of encouragement, wished him luck and told him with a wink, "I'm counting on you to become a regular customer." That evening as the young man approached the door of his date's house he was thankful for the "pep-talk" the man in the drugstore had given him, his confidence quickly disappeared when he rang the bell and his date's father, the druggist, answered the door.
The Costume Party
A man and his wife were supposed to go to a costume party together one halloween, but when the time came to go the woman told him to go on without her, she had a terrible headache. The man reluctantly did, and the suspicious wife decided to see just how faithful her man really was. She put on a different costume and went to the party. When she got there she saw her husband dancing with a young girl in a sexy costume, even more suspicious, she decided to really put him to the test. She danced with him and whispered they should sneak into a bedroom. She insisted they leave the masks on and had sex with him, then fuming, she ran home to wait for his return. When he got there she innocently asked if he'd had fun. He told her he hadn't, after a few minutes he and some guys had went across the street to play poker, he added "The guy who borrowed my costume said he had a hell of a time, though!"
Sex
A couple had oral sex, then sex and then started smoking on a U.K. train. The crew ignored complaints until they started smoking.
MaDeThEmOvE (HKI)
V sian.... some random blogging
Remember the game at prom...the one in which we have to write a story by continuing the previous sentence. 4F guys at table twenty-something have cooked up a lame story.
Here it goes,
Once upon a time,
In a galaxy far far away,
a group of animals existed
in harmony.They are one happy family
that likes to eat and sleep together
until one day, a monster so huge that its feet could flatten the village came for them.
She eats bamboo shoots.
she likes panda too,
and fishes....(ends here)
Or rather havent end yet cos there is one line still yet to be filled...
perhaps like she is a member of our class.
Feeling bored or rather feeling hot?
here are some lame jokes that i found online
Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste funny
What does mozart do now that he is dead? He decomposes
Why do they put bells on cows? Because their horns don't work!
What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito
What's the difference between a guy falling from the 1st floor and one falling from the 17th floor?the guy falling from the first goes, ' splat , Aaaaaaaargh " and the one from the 17th goes, " Aaaaaaargh , splat ".
What do you get when you squeeze an olive? Oliver Twist
怎樣讓鴨子不會飛走？ 插一隻翅膀給牠（插翅難飛）
為什麼漢子不出門？ 因為 出了門就變 門外漢
有一天0对8说：胖就胖嘛，还栓个腰带！
Q：非洲食人族的酋长吃什么？
A：人啊！
Q：那有一天，酋长病了，医生告诉他要吃素，那他吃什么？
A：吃植物人！~~
enjoy~~
By guailan JL
Remember the game at prom...the one in which we have to write a story by continuing the previous sentence. 4F guys at table twenty-something have cooked up a lame story.
Here it goes,
Once upon a time,
In a galaxy far far away,
a group of animals existed
in harmony.They are one happy family
that likes to eat and sleep together
until one day, a monster so huge that its feet could flatten the village came for them.
She eats bamboo shoots.
she likes panda too,
and fishes....(ends here)
Or rather havent end yet cos there is one line still yet to be filled...
perhaps like she is a member of our class.
Feeling bored or rather feeling hot?
here are some lame jokes that i found online
Why don't cannibals eat comedians? Because they taste funny
What does mozart do now that he is dead? He decomposes
Why do they put bells on cows? Because their horns don't work!
What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito
What's the difference between a guy falling from the 1st floor and one falling from the 17th floor?the guy falling from the first goes, ' splat , Aaaaaaaargh " and the one from the 17th goes, " Aaaaaaargh , splat ".
What do you get when you squeeze an olive? Oliver Twist
怎樣讓鴨子不會飛走？ 插一隻翅膀給牠（插翅難飛）
為什麼漢子不出門？ 因為 出了門就變 門外漢
有一天0对8说：胖就胖嘛，还栓个腰带！
Q：非洲食人族的酋长吃什么？
A：人啊！
Q：那有一天，酋长病了，医生告诉他要吃素，那他吃什么？
A：吃植物人！~~
enjoy~~
By guailan JL
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)